Dear Diary
by beezy63
Summary: Temari relunctantly records her expierences with life, and Hidan in a diary. Rated T for...well it's Temari and Hidan, whats not T about that? Cracktastic HidaTema
1. Chapter 1

_Dear Diary,_

_I don't even know why I'm bothering to write this. There's no reason to keep a diary. But Kankuro insisted I start because it will "help me be a less angry person." I think he just wants to steal it to try and get in my head. Well I got news for ya Kanky, IT AIN'T GONNA HAPPEN!!!!!! Well I guess this is the part where I like tell about my day huh? You'll have to go easy on me diary, I've never had one of these things before. Never really saw the point. Wait…. I already said that didn't I?_

_Well let's see… I had a perfectly boring day. Nothing interesting happened at all. Gaara didn't even break anything. That was weird. He was calm today. Too calm. But whatever. Maybe he had a good day at work or something. Maybe he has a secret girlfriend Kankuro and I don't about. Maybe... maybe he hit the lottery and isn't going to tell me. Yeah that's it. He's rich and won't tell me. Gonna spend all the money on fancy Mexican sand….. I don't get it!!! What's so special about sand from Mexico!? IT'S FANCY DIRT. MY BROTHER HAS A DIRT FETTISH. OH GOD, I HATE MY LIFE SOMETIMES._

_~Temari_

Temari closed the small leather book and put down her pen. She didn't really want to keep a diary, but she decided to do it to make her brother shut up for once in his life. Then a strange sensation hit her. She was exhausted. She put the diary in her desk, took her hair down and laid her head on her soft pillow. All she wanted to think about was sleep.

--

Okay so this is my newest work of the most cracktastic pairing ever, HidaTema. Normally I'm not a big fan of diary-style fanfics, and I personally didn't want to finish this. However I recieved much prompting from a friend (I'll get you for this Kisame-san) and decided to keep working on it. More chapters will be added, this thing could go on for quite some time. I'll stop wating your time though, and I hope you enjoy my latest work! (R&R plz)


	2. Chapter 2

_Dear diary,_

_Okay today= Weirdest. Day. Ever. So I go today to but a toaster, because stupid Gaara destroyed it (I think he may be PMSing). Anyway, I'm walking around, minding my own business when I see this weird looking guy. I mean, WEIRD. He had this slicked back white hair (somebody likes hair gel) and this really pale skin. Not to mention he wore this rosary. Not just any rosary, a JASHIN rosary. I don't if you've ever heard of Jashints, but they freak me out a little. I mean they stab themselves. ON PURPOSE!!! WHAT KIND OF MASOCHOCHISTIC PSYCOPATH STABS THEMSELF __**ON PURPOSE!?**_

_Anyway, I have a habit of people watching, so I stared at the guy for a minute. I mean, he was a little scary looking sure, but he wasn't bad-looking. His appearance had a harsh striking beauty. But he was still a freak. So anyway, I'm standing here lookin at this guy, and fate would have it, he sees me gawking at him. I'm not gonna lie, I bolted into the store full speed. I mean, how sketchy can you look staring at a guy you don't know? So I run in the store and forget the guy all together. I was too immersed in other things._

_Like finding a toaster._

_But then, as fate would have it again (fate has it in for me) he comes up behind me. I guess he followed me thinking whatever psychopaths think when they see somebody staring at them. So he starts to talk to me and next thing I know I'm sitting in a coffee shop across from him casually chit-chatting. I learned that his name was Hidan, and he was a Jashinist. And after what seemed like forever, his partner (yeah, his partner) bursts in and drags him off. And then he shows up at my house later and Gaara kicks him out. I mean yeah Hidan looks a little scary, but that doesn't mean you need to slam the door in his face. Ah whatever. Like I'll ever see Hidan again. Or ever want to for that matter. _


	3. Chapter 3

_Dear diary,_

_I saw Hidan again today. I really wasn't expecting to see him again so soon. I mean, I wasn't expecting to see him again at all so, this was a real surprise. But this time, I found him. That's only because we were on a mission today. I'll give you the play-by-play, because I feel like venting:_

Here I am, walking with Kankuro, going out to get something from the leaf or something (these details aren't important). So we're walking and sort of almost not really chatting with each other. And as we were walking I started to hear a familiar voice yelling a familiar name very near by.

"HIDAN FOR THE LAST TIME!!!!! I TOLD YOU WE NEED THE MONEY FROM THESE 'SIDE JOBS' FOR THE ORGANIZATION!!!!"

I'd heard the yelling before, at the coffee shop. I recognized the voice as belonging to Hidan's partner. My heart actually skipped a beat or two when I heard Hidan's name. I hadn't seen him about a week, and I guess I kind of wanted to. In the short period of time I was with him, we connected a little bit. Just a little bit.

"WELL IF YOU'RE GONNA COMPLAIN ABOUT MY 'POINTLESS RITUALS' TAKING TOO LONG THEN I HAVE A RIGHT TO COMPLAIN ABOUT YOU AND YOUR MONEY!!!!!!!!!"

I glanced over at Kankuro. I've never seen the boy look so confused in my life. He faced me and gave me his I-think-we-should-turn-around look. I replied with my grow-up-stupid-and-face-this-like-a-man-look. He frowned at me, stuck his tongue out (like the 6 year old he really is) but continued to eavesdrop on the two men.

"I believe I can complain about whatever I want."

"MY JASHIN KAKUZU YOU ARE SUCH A HYPOCRITE!!!!!!"

"As if you aren't one?"

"NO I am not thank-you-very-much."

"Ugh. Whatever. Let's just go."

With that I heard footsteps, signaling their departure. I craned my neck, barely catching a glimpse of Hidan's snow white hair contrasting against his black cloak. I watched him walk away for a moment, but remembered Kankuro was there and quickly pretended to lose interest. Since Kankuro didn't know the true gravity of the situation, he shrugged and continued walking.

I turned back to look at Hidan again and got an idea. I took out a small piece of paper and quickly scribbled a note on it. Sacrificing a hair tie (and a pigtail at that) I tied the note to a kunai. With exact precision I threw it, scraping Hidan's shoulder and sticking it in a tree. Before the man could even turn around I bolted up to Kankuro and out of Hidan's line of vision.

_And so ends the story of my almost-encounter with Hidan. I only wish I could've seen the look on his face when he read the note:_

**To Hidan**

**Love Blondie**

_**Because I know you like pain**_


	4. Chapter 4

_Dear Diary,_

_The last thing I wanted to happen happened today. My day started off BEYOND the perfection I only thought existed in dreams. Gaara left a note on the table saying he was out on a mission; Kankuro went over two villages to pick up puppet supplies. I had the house to myself. Everything was going great. I slept in, woke up and left to go to the new café that just opened yesterday. _

_As soon as I walked out the door the perfection spread. I could myself becoming even more calm as I walked out the door, and felt the warm desert air around me. The air smelled faintly of rain, which in Suna is a relief. _

_I curled up in a booth in the very back of the café. I chatted with the waitress for a moment, until she went to go submit my order. The place was pretty much empty, except for an elderly couple drinking coffee, and a man sitting reading the newspaper. I drank in the peace and closed my eyes, thinking. The last thing that would've crossed my mind at that time was Hidan. _

_The waitress came back with my tea and I drank it quietly, feeling more content than I had in years. The café was cute; it had about 5 booths that could fit four people and 5 tables for two. I closed my eyes again and inhaled deeply, taking in the scent of cinnamon rolls. As I opened my eyes I heard the bell ring at the front of the store. The thing I saw next made my heart stop._

_There was Hidan, my favorite homicidal albino. I backed up in my booth and tried to hide; thinking him and his partner wouldn't notice me. I could feel my heart pounding, and my hands were visibly shaking. I beyond sure that he was be enraged about me nearly taking his shoulder off with a kunai for no good reason, and I wasn't looking forward to him confronting me. Of course, karma has a way of being sadistic._

_Just my luck Hidan runs over and slams his fist down on my table. In his I guess "angry voice" he starts to whisper yell at me._

_"WHAT IN THE NAME OF SWEET JASHIN IS YOUR PROBLEM BLONDIE!? WHEN YOU SEE SOMEBODY MINDIN THEIR OWN BUISNESS YOU DON'T CHUCK A KUNAI AT THEM!!!! I HAVE HALF A MIND TO-"_

_He was cut off by his partner walking over and looming over him. He coughed as to signal that Hidan should shut his big mouth. Although I could only see his eyes, they were staring into the very depths of my soul. So it was expected for me to shrink back, except I'd had so much peace today that I hadn't let out my morning rage yet. So I scream whispered right back at him._

_"Oh and you expect me to believe you found me here by chance!? Tell me, how long have you been stalking me you psychopath!? What is with your obsession with me, always just showing up wherever I go!?" My face was red and my eyes burned with hate. The more I talked, the angrier I got. But then, he smirked._

_"Now how could I stay mad at that face? You're pretty hot when you're steamed Blondie," he laughed out the words. I could feel my muscles tense as he chuckled at me, amused by his own obnoxious remark. I couldn't even believe what I did next. Without thinking I picked up fan, and smacked across the head with it as hard as I could. He flew across the room and crashed into the wall, causing major damage. Before he, or anybody else for that matter, could react I ran. _

_I ran back to my house, shut every window and locked every door. For the rest of the day I sat in the dark, suffering from massive paranoia. As much as he angered me, I knew that I probably couldn't beat him if he went after me. I may be a little arrogant at times, but I'm not stupid. _

_So that was my day. For all I know I'm being hunted by a homicidal S-ranked criminal. _

_~Temari~_

_--_

SORRYSORRYSORRYSORRYSORRYSORRY!!!!!!!!!! SORRY! I uploaded the first chapters of this like two months ago, I know. I have no excuse, I'm SO LAZEH. I wonder how many people gave up on me. Oh dear. BUT- my writer's block has passed and now i swear, THIS WILL UPDATE MORE OFTEN. I'm on vacation this week so i hope to get another one or two chapters up this week AT LEAST. So please forgive me for going so long without updating, and don't give on HidaTema~ (oh yah R&R please, I love hearing what you have to say :D)


	5. Chapter 5

_Dear Diary,_

_Excessive paranoia can do a lot to your brain. No really it can. I hadn't seen Hidan for at least a week. Well honestly, it's because I haven't left my house very much. Missions have been slow lately, and I haven't wanted to leave unnecessarily. Granted I would never admit that out loud. And it's not like anybody would try and read my diary. Well Kankuro might…but he should know that if he so much as tried to read it I would neuter him. Although that would be unpleasant for me…EW…well bad things would happen. I can assure you that much._

_But what happened today changed that. Gaara was being particularly angsty, and Kankuro was being himself. Really, adults say be yourself. Kankuro should be somebody else. I don't think "him" really works for him. But anyway, I was getting REALLY tired of being inside. I mean I need sufficient fresh air or I'll go completely insane. So I left, thinking the odds of him still being in the area were slim._

_Well I avoided the café that recently faced my wrath. I don't think they'd let me back in if I tried to get in. Instead I headed to a small diner just down the road from our house. I just got tea and sat in a booth. Man, how many times have you read that about me!? How freaking boring… ANYWAY I say and sipped my tea. I wanted to get out soon; I was getting that sickening feeling deep down._

_I got up to leave when I looked out the window. It started to rain. Yeah, in Sunagakure, the land of sand and dry heat, water was falling from the sky. I walked out into the rain and just let it fall on me for a minute. I love rain; I mean it falls rarely round these parts. And it wasn't cold rain either. It was a warm rain. It was blissful for about a minute. Then it was just annoying._

_Within that minute I was soaking wet. I tried to run home, but the moment I tried to move I slipped in the mud, and soon I was sitting in it. Just when I felt like making more bastards stare and start making a mud angel, then rain over me stopped. But I could still see it fall around me. I looked up and to my relief-no make that horror- Hidan was standing over me with an umbrella. My eyes widened when I saw him. He looked down at me, looking VERY displeased with me. When he opened his mouth to speak to me, I was expecting a stream of swears and insults. Instead I got this,_

_"Ya' know Blondie, I WAS gonna come over here and beat your ass into the ground, but you beat me to it." He smirked at me in that sadistic way of his. THE NERVE OF THAT GUY. I MEAN REALLY, WHAT THE FRICK. UGH I HATE HIM SOMETIMES._

_"What do you want, jashin-boy?"_

_"Well I decided that a good smack in the head was what I needed, so I figured I'd forgive your temper problem and give you a hand." URGH. IS HE NOT SOOOOO OBNOXIOUS!? I MEAN REALLY! I was a little po'd, but I did still grab his hand when he extended it to me. However, instead of pulling myself up, I pulled him down. The satisfaction was clear on my face when he fell face first into the mud next to me._

_"WHAT IN THE NAME JASHIN -GIRL WHAT IS YOUR FREAKING PROBLEM!?" I'm sure his face was flushed, but I couldn't see the color under the mud._

_"Well I figured you might want to join me. Mud's good for your skin you know." I smiled at him. In response, he spit some mud out of his mouth and up righted himself. Then he took a big scoop of mud into his hands, and dropped it right onto my head._

_"FOR THE LOVE OF GOD –BOY WHAT THE CRAP WAS THAT!?"_

_"Well you said mud was good for skin, so I figured your head could use some and not just your ass." He smirked at me. Instead of being mad though, I laughed. Then I threw some mud at him._

_Pretty soon it was an all-out mud war. We were chasing each other throughout the village throwing heaps of mud at each other. Two hours later, both of us were laying in my "yard", panting and covered head to toe in mud. Hidan turned over to me and laughed._

_"Well, this is where I say good-bye Hidan. Bye." I got up and tried to walk away, but fell down again._

_"You never saw that" He laughed at my almost defensive comment._

_"You sure got spunk Temari, you know that?" I laughed too, and then got up. I waved as I walked in, and went to take a shower. It wasn't until I laid down in my bed to relax after my shower did I realize he called Temari, and not Blondie._

_Me and Hidan are getting along, weirdly enough. WAIT, WHAT!? But whatever, I mean he's still a bit of a creeper sometimes. Well that's enough writing. This is one of my longer entries…_

_~Temari~_

_--_

Do I fail at life or what? I apologize, AGAIN for being so painfully inactive. I will really try to update more, I promise. NO REALLY THIS TIME. Reviews are appreciated as well. Believe it or not they motivate me to write more. Thanks for supporting me as well, you have my undying gratitude, i know I"m not that good and your read my fanfiction anyway. THANK YOOOOU~


	6. Chapter 6

_Dear Diary,_

_Last I checked, me and Hidan weren't really good friends. I was just a past-time of his, and he was just an annoying thorn in my side. So how come all of a sudden, I want to see him? He hasn't come around in a week. I hope he hasn't gotten into any trouble. Aw who am I kidding!? OF COURSE HE'S IN TROUBLE. HE'S A POMPUS, EGOTISTIC, RELIGION-OBSESSED PSYCHOPATH. AND HE PISSES ME OFF._

_Still I wonder what's going on with him…I mean he hasn't even stopped by to say hi…I bet he's in jail. He did something stupid and now he's in prison. Any minute now the phone will ring and he'll want me to come bail him out._

_Well maybe I won't want to. Maybe, the thought of him in jail makes me happy. I mean…picture that for a second. Hidan, shoving his head through metal bars, clutching them with his hands, screaming any obscenity he can think of at the top his lungs. He could probably get out of prison because the guard would get tired of him. That would be freaking hilarious._

_Or to picture him in like…cliché black and white striped jumpsuit. That would be so funny. And oh god- he wouldn't have hair gel. He'd go completely insane._

_God I want him to get arrested now. I would go to bail him out just to see him in jail._

_I know what you're thinking; all I ever think about is Hidan. Well first off, he's pretty interesting. I mean a crazy, loud, hair-gel wearing, religious albino? That's like the funniest thing ever._

_And second he doesn't mean anything to me. I mean he's just some guy who happens to show in my life. It's not like I like being around him or anything. I mean, I wanna see the guy go to prison, how could that mean I care about him? It can't. And most certainly don't like…love him. EW. ME AND HIDAN, IN LOVE? GROSS._

_That sounds like something Kankuro would say. Good thing he doesn't even know that Hidan exists._

_~Temari~_

--

PLEASE DO NOT KILL ME. I APOLOGIZE. A LOT. REALLY. I MEAN IT. God, how many times have I said that? A lot, I know. To be honest I kind of forgot I had a fanfic in progress...except I got a review from Rayyu-is-gunna-keel-juu and I was like "OH CRAP" But it's okay, because now I"m on vacation from school until september, so I will have time, and honestly attempt to update weekly. If I don't, feel free to PM or email me to yell at me as you wish. Thank you to everybody who reads and reviews this, the reviews warm my heart so much...


	7. Chapter 7

_Dear Diary,_

_Yeah, my second entry today. YOU WILL NEVER BELIEVE WHAT HAPPENED. FUNNIEST THING EVER. So about 5 minutes after I finished that last one, the phone rang. It was for me._

_It was Hidan, calling from prison. I had to put the phone down so I could laugh. Granted he heard me laughing. But this was the best moment of my life. The conversation went like this:_

_"Temari, that you?"_

_"Yup. Wait…Hidan, HOW'D YOU GET MY NUMBER!?"_

_"Not important. So listen, you're gonna need to come to the jail and bail me out."_

_"Wait…you mean you're in jail?"_

_"WHY ELSE WOULD YOU NEED TO BAIL ME OUT!?"_

_"Excuse me for a minute….AHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"_

_"OH IS THAT FUNNY TO YOU BLONDIE!? YEAH IT'S SO FREAKING HILARIOUS. AHAHAHA. SHUT UP AND GET DOWN HERE."_

_ "Ahaha-sorry Hidan. But this is about the funniest thing ever. What're ya in for?"_

_"That's none of your business, now is it?"_

_"Well actually it is. If it's for like murder…maybe you should be in jail."_

_"Ya know what? SCREW YOU BLONDIE. I'LL BREAK OUT MYSELF."_

_"Yeah, good luck with that."_

_"I DON'T NEED YOUR LUCK."_

_With that he hung up. I admit, even though this was my dream come true, I did go to get him. It was almost sad seeing him in the cell. He was sitting on their lame excuse for a bed, his head drooping. I could hear muttering swears under his breath. But…I heard something else in their too._

_"Freaking idiot…I lose my temper and the only chance to get me out won't show up…jeez how come she flusters me like that…ugh….man I'm hungry…there's no way she'll show up…I'll be condemned here forever…jashin is probably pissed like hell right now…."_

_I smirked and walked up to the cell with the key. I had already paid his bail, so the guard gave me the key. I leaned against the bars._

_"Something wrong Hidan?" I asked, twirling the key on my finger. He looked up to me, looking utterly stupefied. _

_"Blon-Temari you actually bailed me out!? And you made me think…OH WHAT THE HELL!?" He looked mad, but then he smiled. A real smile. I know scary right?_

_"Well I couldn't let my bestest buddy rot now could I?" With that I unlocked the door, and he walked out. I really wasn't thinking when I called him my bestest buddy._

_"So I'm your bestest buddy now?"_

_"Yup, totally."_

_"Cool then. Well, au revoir blondie. I have places to go, people to see." And with that he stalked off. And so yet another Hidan experience came to an end._

_~Temari~_

--

Yeah, two updates in one day. I felt guilty about being so inactive...so this is a little extra. Please review...I love reading your opinion.


End file.
